thinking of old friends today

i stand on the bridge
the railing at my back
phone in hand
ringing, ringing
you answer
i exhale
i can hear your smile
quickly turn to worry.
faith
your words draw me back to existance
pray
your answer leaves so many questions
but my feet turn me around
knees shaking
i am given a second chance

AP i will never be able to tell you this but you were truly there for me when i didn't think i had anyone left. thank you. you cross my mind every once in a while and i wonder how you're doing and i miss you but i never pick up the phone. maybe the past is best left in the past? i am sure you of all people would understand.


your voice sounds dead,
decision made.
i almost think "there's no hope"
but i won't let myself
give in
give up
on you.
i answered your call
please
please hold on to this lifeline,
this second chance you have yet to decide to give yourself
i want to grab on to you
to hold you tight and never let go.
i press the phone to my ear
scared to miss one whispered shaking word.
your voice breaks
the tears come
yours and mine.
the hardest thing i ever did
was trust you
and hang up the phone.


AD this one is obviously for you. you scared me that day. your broken voice and also the faith you put in me. what scares me the most is that i almost didn't answer the phone. i can't think of what would have happened if i hadn't. i miss you. sometimes looking back i laugh at us, two misunderstood confused angry and scared kids who thought they were so tough, so world-wise. i'm glad you found your place like i've found mine. i hope i never get a phone call like that again, but at the same time i am so glad i got that call. i am so so glad