My life right now has mostly been a waiting game and a waiting state of mind is not a good one to write from. Trust me. I have like a dozen unfinished poems sitting around my house. That reminds me, I definitely need a new cute little notebook to write my stuff in. Otherwise I just write on random scraps of paper or in the twenty million random notebooks I have lying around. So this is my shot at writing straight onto the computer without doing the whole pen-and-paper method first.
...
...
...
okay scratch that I'm going to find a freakin pen and write til my hand falls off and then eventually put it on here.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
untitled as of right now
i limp along
tired, bruised and broken
i ache with every heartbeat
beaten
no tears fall
they dried up long ago
you and me are like a train wreck
just waiting to happen
a big bomb with a short fuse
every time i walk away
you call my name
make a promise
i turn around
and just keep coming back for more
tired, bruised and broken
i ache with every heartbeat
beaten
no tears fall
they dried up long ago
you and me are like a train wreck
just waiting to happen
a big bomb with a short fuse
every time i walk away
you call my name
make a promise
i turn around
and just keep coming back for more
suicide for you
stabbed your knife
through my heart
twisted it good
then pulled it out
you left me lyin
on the floor
you were my best friend
i could have sworn
i hear the sirens
coming near
i'll be dead
before they're here
you left your knife
and your prints
the police will know
that you did this
someone's pounding
on the door
i grab the knife
and pull it close
i wipe the handle
smear the blood
it's the last thing
i'll do for us
i know you'll stand
right by my grave
wearing black
and feigning pain
pretend to wonder
with all the rest
why i would end
my life like this
through my heart
twisted it good
then pulled it out
you left me lyin
on the floor
you were my best friend
i could have sworn
i hear the sirens
coming near
i'll be dead
before they're here
you left your knife
and your prints
the police will know
that you did this
someone's pounding
on the door
i grab the knife
and pull it close
i wipe the handle
smear the blood
it's the last thing
i'll do for us
i know you'll stand
right by my grave
wearing black
and feigning pain
pretend to wonder
with all the rest
why i would end
my life like this
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
10/27/2010 1:30 am
dREam
I am a dreamer
but my dreams are reality,
stone cold
and just out of touch.
I sink beneath cool waves of darkness,
clumsy and slow.
I drink the air around me
and choke.
I am empty inside
and the memory of warmth
is killing me.
I am a dreamer
but my dreams are reality,
stone cold
and just out of touch.
I sink beneath cool waves of darkness,
clumsy and slow.
I drink the air around me
and choke.
I am empty inside
and the memory of warmth
is killing me.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
one crazy night
"the most unfit dragon"
you smile and give me a hug
you seem pleased to see me
but your eyes are dead inside
your heart is empty
you no longer feel.
you stay calm
speak peace
while i scream and rage
and fight.
or do i?
i want to see the light in your soul
feel the passion in your touch
was it ever there
or am i chasing a young girls
dream?
love me.
drown in me.
i need to know you feel
i need to know you taste
and see
me.
or is it not you?
maybe i am the one
whose heart is walled off
guarded by
the most unfit dragon.
i cry but no tears fall
how can that be?
i pound and scrape and kick
this door that separates
us.
but just who holds the key?
i feel a weight in my pocket
but im too scared to try,
to find out
the
truth.
...
"the past is ever present"
i walk this night road alone.
the lights fade
as i smile into the darkness.
i know, my old friend, that you are near.
...
"shattered"
shards of glass cut my feet
each step leaves behind a
bloody footprint
the past
is a sure sign of whats to come
you smile and give me a hug
you seem pleased to see me
but your eyes are dead inside
your heart is empty
you no longer feel.
you stay calm
speak peace
while i scream and rage
and fight.
or do i?
i want to see the light in your soul
feel the passion in your touch
was it ever there
or am i chasing a young girls
dream?
love me.
drown in me.
i need to know you feel
i need to know you taste
and see
me.
or is it not you?
maybe i am the one
whose heart is walled off
guarded by
the most unfit dragon.
i cry but no tears fall
how can that be?
i pound and scrape and kick
this door that separates
us.
but just who holds the key?
i feel a weight in my pocket
but im too scared to try,
to find out
the
truth.
...
"the past is ever present"
i walk this night road alone.
the lights fade
as i smile into the darkness.
i know, my old friend, that you are near.
...
"shattered"
shards of glass cut my feet
each step leaves behind a
bloody footprint
the past
is a sure sign of whats to come
warning: i was in a very loopy mood
oh woe is me i've lost my keys
will someone help me find them please?
i need those keys to start my car
without them i will not get far
they're not on my desk or in my purse
losing stuff is just the worst
my things lie scattered on the floor
i really must get out the door
late again im doomed to be
why must this always happen to me?
... whenever i try to write a rhyming poem it always turns out to funny or not serious at all .. idk why but hey its fun :)
will someone help me find them please?
i need those keys to start my car
without them i will not get far
they're not on my desk or in my purse
losing stuff is just the worst
my things lie scattered on the floor
i really must get out the door
late again im doomed to be
why must this always happen to me?
... whenever i try to write a rhyming poem it always turns out to funny or not serious at all .. idk why but hey its fun :)
wasted april 27,2010 10:44 pm
so much wasted time
waiting
waiting for this life to change
for the path ahead to level out
to straighten out
shake yourself awake
aware
open your eyes and start walking
its your life
you make it happen
or you don't
it's your life
start living it
waiting
waiting for this life to change
for the path ahead to level out
to straighten out
shake yourself awake
aware
open your eyes and start walking
its your life
you make it happen
or you don't
it's your life
start living it
April 2,2010
its that feeling when you're out of touch
about to jump
when you've lost control
shut the door
don't look back
pick up the pieces
and start again
blank face
blank stare
it was better when you didn't care
about to jump
when you've lost control
shut the door
don't look back
pick up the pieces
and start again
blank face
blank stare
it was better when you didn't care
Saturday, September 4, 2010
new stuff from 9/2/10
'no fear'
you whisper in my ear
so close i can feel your heartbeat
you take my hand
i hold on tight
i smell coffee on your breath and drink it in
this moment is for us
'no fear'
...
you walk by and i
duck my head
forever in your shadow
your smile is my sun
...
without you
i am stronger
without you
i am in control
without you
i am better off...
but without you
i am lonely
...
the wind whips around me
standing on the edge
i breathe
and my feet lift from the ground
over the trees i fly
without fear
i wonder, how would it feel?
to never again have my feet firmly
on the ground
...
a blood-red sky
and tears
that fall like lies from her hands
trees with their bent and broken arms
taunt her.
she stares into the reflective moon
what have i done?
...
feet on the dashboard
i listen
as life passes me by
windows open and cigarettes lit
the light turns red.
the world holds its breath
around us.
pedal to the metal
and we are
off again
...
like a knife
in my throat
i cant breathe
my hands shake
i welcome the end
but im scared of what
i will see
to leave this world of pain
and all that i know
you whisper in my ear
so close i can feel your heartbeat
you take my hand
i hold on tight
i smell coffee on your breath and drink it in
this moment is for us
'no fear'
...
you walk by and i
duck my head
forever in your shadow
your smile is my sun
...
without you
i am stronger
without you
i am in control
without you
i am better off...
but without you
i am lonely
...
the wind whips around me
standing on the edge
i breathe
and my feet lift from the ground
over the trees i fly
without fear
i wonder, how would it feel?
to never again have my feet firmly
on the ground
...
a blood-red sky
and tears
that fall like lies from her hands
trees with their bent and broken arms
taunt her.
she stares into the reflective moon
what have i done?
...
feet on the dashboard
i listen
as life passes me by
windows open and cigarettes lit
the light turns red.
the world holds its breath
around us.
pedal to the metal
and we are
off again
...
like a knife
in my throat
i cant breathe
my hands shake
i welcome the end
but im scared of what
i will see
to leave this world of pain
and all that i know
Monday, August 16, 2010
more found poetry
faint blue lines
i admired the
young punk
...
Hope, maybe
And sadness
Blue for loyalty
red for passion
The white flag of surrender
red for love and hate. Red for war
red
white
red
white
...
distress, brooding
'Good people do bad things'
wrong?
wrong?
guilty
break me.
...
trembling, i answered
it must be contagious.
i sent her running to that onslaught.
...
These lies were
motivated by
uncertainty.
Armed with
identical
footsteps,
except for a
fraction
of
good.
...
dilapidated
they continue walking
all
broken
ties surround.
the gargoyle fell
wheezing
weatherworn, unpainted
it blends.
he
carries
the light.
i admired the
young punk
...
Hope, maybe
And sadness
Blue for loyalty
red for passion
The white flag of surrender
red for love and hate. Red for war
red
white
red
white
...
distress, brooding
'Good people do bad things'
wrong?
wrong?
guilty
break me.
...
trembling, i answered
it must be contagious.
i sent her running to that onslaught.
...
These lies were
motivated by
uncertainty.
Armed with
identical
footsteps,
except for a
fraction
of
good.
...
dilapidated
they continue walking
all
broken
ties surround.
the gargoyle fell
wheezing
weatherworn, unpainted
it blends.
he
carries
the light.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
found poetry
Last year, my friend Mallory was working on an 'altered book' for one of her college classes and she sugguested that I try it out. I decided to skip out on all the drawing and other 'artsy' stuff that was included in her book because I am by no means an artist, so I mostly stuck to 'found poetry'. Which is basically where you take whatever words and sentences that strike your fancy and put them together to make your own poem. Where the words are placed or found on the page is also pretty important to the feel of the poem and that gets lost here so bare with me as I try to mimick that! So here is some of the poems I have so far..
i had been sick
i was supposed to be
dead
i had
mysteriously failed to die
i
put one foot in front of the other.
...
an odd, airy lightness a
free-for-all of mixed-up signals and crossed mental wires.
undulating,
disappearing like a
drop of dye in a glass of water. Everything shimmied and
wobbled.
the jumble in my head
drifted
in dream.
...
my dream.
my big American dream.
words
give honor to my life.
an essential role
was
breaking
...
a man with sensitivity once
was magic
he
discovered
no past
an anguished soul longing for
anything.
...
to be upset
to cry
street lamp tears
glistening
desperate
truths
i withdrew
in silence,
pure confusion.
i had been sick
i was supposed to be
dead
i had
mysteriously failed to die
i
put one foot in front of the other.
...
an odd, airy lightness a
free-for-all of mixed-up signals and crossed mental wires.
undulating,
disappearing like a
drop of dye in a glass of water. Everything shimmied and
wobbled.
the jumble in my head
drifted
in dream.
...
my dream.
my big American dream.
words
give honor to my life.
an essential role
was
breaking
...
a man with sensitivity once
was magic
he
discovered
no past
an anguished soul longing for
anything.
...
to be upset
to cry
street lamp tears
glistening
desperate
truths
i withdrew
in silence,
pure confusion.
about this blog
I have decided to create this blog because I am in need of a place to keep copies of all my poems. What better place than the vast span of cyberspace? Scraps of paper shoved in between pages of books and in various other nooks and cranies are no longer working for me :) Most of these poems will be ones I have written in the past (ie high school) but I will also post new ones.Which is where I got the name of my blog, because these poems are pretty much an inside look at where I was in my life when I wrote them, what I was going through, and how I was feeling. Also be warned that most of my 'poems' are just the ramblings of an imaginitive mind. That being said...Enjoy!
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