i seriously need a new notebook to write stuff in

My life right now has mostly been a waiting game and a waiting state of mind is not a good one to write from. Trust me. I have like a dozen unfinished poems sitting around my house. That reminds me, I definitely need a new cute little notebook to write my stuff in. Otherwise I just write on random scraps of paper or in the twenty million random notebooks I have lying around. So this is my shot at writing straight onto the computer without doing the whole pen-and-paper method first.

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okay scratch that I'm going to find a freakin pen and write til my hand falls off and then eventually put it on here.

untitled as of right now

i limp along
tired, bruised and broken
i ache with every heartbeat
beaten
no tears fall
they dried up long ago
you and me are like a train wreck
just waiting to happen
a big bomb with a short fuse
every time i walk away
you call my name
make a promise
i turn around
and just keep coming back for more

suicide for you

stabbed your knife
through my heart
twisted it good
then pulled it out

you left me lyin
on the floor
you were my best friend
i could have sworn

i hear the sirens
coming near
i'll be dead
before they're here

you left your knife
and your prints
the police will know
that you did this

someone's pounding
on the door
i grab the knife
and pull it close

i wipe the handle
smear the blood
it's the last thing
i'll do for us

i know you'll stand
right by my grave
wearing black
and feigning pain

pretend to wonder
with all the rest
why i would end
my life like this

10/27/2010 1:30 am

dREam

I am a dreamer
but my dreams are reality,
stone cold
and just out of touch.
I sink beneath cool waves of darkness,
clumsy and slow.
I drink the air around me
and choke.
I am empty inside
and the memory of warmth
is killing me.

one crazy night

"the most unfit dragon"
you smile and give me a hug
you seem pleased to see me
but your eyes are dead inside
your heart is empty
you no longer feel.
you stay calm
speak peace
while i scream and rage
and fight.
or do i?
i want to see the light in your soul
feel the passion in your touch
was it ever there
or am i chasing a young girls
dream?
love me.
drown in me.
i need to know you feel
i need to know you taste
and see
me.
or is it not you?
maybe i am the one
whose heart is walled off
guarded by
the most unfit dragon.
i cry but no tears fall
how can that be?
i pound and scrape and kick
this door that separates
us.
but just who holds the key?
i feel a weight in my pocket
but im too scared to try,
to find out
the
truth.

...

"the past is ever present"
i walk this night road alone.
the lights fade
as i smile into the darkness.
i know, my old friend, that you are near.

...

"shattered"
shards of glass cut my feet
each step leaves behind a
bloody footprint
the past
is a sure sign of whats to come

warning: i was in a very loopy mood

oh woe is me i've lost my keys
will someone help me find them please?
i need those keys to start my car
without them i will not get far
they're not on my desk or in my purse
losing stuff is just the worst
my things lie scattered on the floor
i really must get out the door
late again im doomed to be
why must this always happen to me?


... whenever i try to write a rhyming poem it always turns out to funny or not serious at all .. idk why but hey its fun :)

wasted april 27,2010 10:44 pm

so much wasted time
waiting
waiting for this life to change
for the path ahead to level out
to straighten out
shake yourself awake
aware
open your eyes and start walking
its your life
you make it happen
or you don't
it's your life
start living it